friday

Yesterday afternoon, I received some disappointing news regarding a new job. All I wanted to do was go home, drink an entire bottle of wine, and eat chips and salsa. After dwelling incessantly, whining to Drew about another door being closed, and crying on the city bus, I decided to actively confront the under lying issue. I closed my eyes and repeated the affirmation "I am willing to see this differently. I am willing to see love" over and over and over again until I felt the weight lift. When I got home, I did crack open a beer (hey, it's the weekend!) and call my best friend. We talked for over an hour, and the beer was warm before it was even half gone. Then I connected with Drew about his day and we headed to the gym. A good run does wonders for my mental state; I must remember this. A few tears were shed on that treadmill, but I pressed on. During my tanning session, I put on some Sigur Ros and meditated on another affirmation, "I forgive myself for choosing fear. Today, I choose love", until I began to see my other opportunities. Instead of wallowing in the past and what could have been another crushing blow, I am choosing to accept that this job is not part of my path and I will continue to move forward, as fearlessly as I can. I am proud of myself for my active role in changing old habits, for choosing health over temporary comfort, for taking control of my ego, for choosing to see difficult circumstances with hope and love.