TGIF. What a week. My brain is all fuzzy, but maybe that's just from the homemade Bloody Marys we had earlier. I love a good Bloody Mary, which is weird because I used to HATE tomato juice for a long, long time. I think it's something about the mix of spices, pickles, and hot sauce that makes it works. Also, vodka. (Or are you on the gin team?)
Nonetheless, my eyes are droopy and my hair is in a messy bun and there is a fan blowing right on my face, causing my eyes to water as I am constantly tabbing through Pinterest pages, attempting to make myself tired enough to go to sleep. My nap today was far too long, and I did not follow it up with a trip to the gym like I normally would. That's where the Bloody Marys came into play.
We also play Cards Against Humanity tonight, which is like Apples to Apples but more off-color and ages 17+ (says the box). There were several laugh-until-you-cry moments and Emily came out as the winner! As an aside, what do you call the last bit of pizza? Pizza crusts or pizza bones or do you have another name for them?
Colloquialisms are strange, and very interesting. My coworker came up to me this morning, playing with her hair, and asked if I had an extra rubber band. I said "no...but I have a hair tie." She looked puzzled and said "what's a hair tie?!" and I pointed to my bun and said "you know, something to tie your hair back, a pony tail holder", then I pulled an extra one out of my backpack and handed it to her. She said "yeah, that's a rubber band!" then thanked me a walked away. Another coworker confirmed that yes, she calls them rubber bands too. And I was like, "no guys, rubber bands are office supplies and they rip your hair out if you use them as a hair tie". We chalked the difference up to geographical locations.
Sometimes, living in Texas is like a whole 'nother world.
03 August 2013
01 August 2013
thursday
It was one of those days. One of those days when working in customer service seems impossible, like this will be the day that you will snap. I was crabby, and I knew it. People are so quick to comment on my positive attitude and general cheerfulness, but what they don't seem to comprehend is that it isn't always easy. It is a very deliberate choice to smile and make conversation, person after person, day in and day out, letting go of rudeness, not taking blatant ignoring personally, and investing myself in a job in which I want no (real) future. It's not always easy, but today it was extra hard. I was fighting for it. I wanted to turn my day around, release the crabbiness, and embrace the possibilities.
That's not what the work day held for me, and that's okay. So I went on with my day, and got to spend about 45 minutes in Spirit Junkie before my yoga class. I read about setting intentions for healing, asking for deliberate guidance, putting your desires out into the universe. The material in this book kinda covers the spectrum from "I am so far detached from that" to "wow, that totally resonates with me". This particular idea is something I'm familiar with, but do not practice on a daily basis.
I've really been struggling with my upcoming birthday. I am not where I thought I would be at age 25. And while I know that's okay, and I respect my journey and myself, it's hard to let go of the first 20 years of my life's ambitions. The process is continual. But I've been keeping this struggle fairly private, as is the norm for me.
As our yoga session was coming to a close, my instructor invited me to share something I was grateful for. My first thought was "oh god, not today". After a minute of stammering, and commenting that I was grateful for "yoga brain", I felt the urge to say something about my upcoming birthday. So I did, and it all tumbled out in a concise, rapid succession. I am struggling, I admitted. I could also feel my ego explode in shame. But I'm sure you can guess what happened next.
Yup. SHOWERED WITH LOVE.
25, I think we're going to be all right.
That's not what the work day held for me, and that's okay. So I went on with my day, and got to spend about 45 minutes in Spirit Junkie before my yoga class. I read about setting intentions for healing, asking for deliberate guidance, putting your desires out into the universe. The material in this book kinda covers the spectrum from "I am so far detached from that" to "wow, that totally resonates with me". This particular idea is something I'm familiar with, but do not practice on a daily basis.
I've really been struggling with my upcoming birthday. I am not where I thought I would be at age 25. And while I know that's okay, and I respect my journey and myself, it's hard to let go of the first 20 years of my life's ambitions. The process is continual. But I've been keeping this struggle fairly private, as is the norm for me.
As our yoga session was coming to a close, my instructor invited me to share something I was grateful for. My first thought was "oh god, not today". After a minute of stammering, and commenting that I was grateful for "yoga brain", I felt the urge to say something about my upcoming birthday. So I did, and it all tumbled out in a concise, rapid succession. I am struggling, I admitted. I could also feel my ego explode in shame. But I'm sure you can guess what happened next.
Yup. SHOWERED WITH LOVE.
25, I think we're going to be all right.
wednesday
Today, a blogging friend of mine posted her beautifully honest story about her struggles with finding a healthy relationship with food. This is an extremely interesting topic for me, as I am still finding my balance. I love reading about her journey, and have followed it for years now.
She describes her feelings of guilt and shame as she "binged" on peanut butter (um, I do that every day!), her struggles with "treat meals" and date nights, the very disconcerting fact that her body wasn't functioning well. She was ill quite frequently, her digestive system wasn't working correctly, and her energy levels were low. All of this occurred while she was following a very restrictive, repetitive, "clean eating" diet (no, it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle!).
Obviously, all of these problems point to a bigger one. How we feed our bodies is how they function, and that looks different for every single person. There is no "one size fits all" diet. Her bodywas begging for something different, and I am ecstatic to read that she has found something that makes her happy, feel healthy, and not consumed with guilt and shame for enjoying decadent treats. (YOLO, yes?)
However, I have an underlying issue with this. And bear with me as I try to put this eloquently as my ten minutes slowly dwindle here. Eating pop-tarts and fat-free dairy products are not as healthy as fresh, organic vegetables and fruits, and full fat dairy. This is a fact. I understand that the former products may fit your macro requirements, and may make your muscles pop, and you may be leaning out like never before, and (thankfully) you are HAPPY with the things you are eating, but if your long-term goal is health, then step away from the processed food that comes in a package manufactured by people who are earning their living by flooding your mind with advertisements that you NEED their products.
More importantly, eating should be a relatively emotionally independent experience. There is a big difference between "oh my gosh this pasta is orgasmically fantastic" and "my happiness today depends on eating a shit ton of carbs" (been there!). Let me be clear: if you are experiencing guilt or shame from what you are or are not eating, it would be most beneficial to acknowledge the issue, explore it, and solve the problem internally rather than simply putting down/picking up any external factors. (This is true for most of our emotional and mental turmoil.) Easier said than done, yes, but the process is an life-changing one.
Okay, my ten minutes are up. I want to write more but it's important for me to respect the boundaries I've set for this free writing goal of mine. Maybe tomorrow night I will write more about this. Especially about feeling deprived by your restrictive diet. That issue really hits me square in the heart.
Peace and love.
She describes her feelings of guilt and shame as she "binged" on peanut butter (um, I do that every day!), her struggles with "treat meals" and date nights, the very disconcerting fact that her body wasn't functioning well. She was ill quite frequently, her digestive system wasn't working correctly, and her energy levels were low. All of this occurred while she was following a very restrictive, repetitive, "clean eating" diet (no, it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle!).
Obviously, all of these problems point to a bigger one. How we feed our bodies is how they function, and that looks different for every single person. There is no "one size fits all" diet. Her bodywas begging for something different, and I am ecstatic to read that she has found something that makes her happy, feel healthy, and not consumed with guilt and shame for enjoying decadent treats. (YOLO, yes?)
However, I have an underlying issue with this. And bear with me as I try to put this eloquently as my ten minutes slowly dwindle here. Eating pop-tarts and fat-free dairy products are not as healthy as fresh, organic vegetables and fruits, and full fat dairy. This is a fact. I understand that the former products may fit your macro requirements, and may make your muscles pop, and you may be leaning out like never before, and (thankfully) you are HAPPY with the things you are eating, but if your long-term goal is health, then step away from the processed food that comes in a package manufactured by people who are earning their living by flooding your mind with advertisements that you NEED their products.
More importantly, eating should be a relatively emotionally independent experience. There is a big difference between "oh my gosh this pasta is orgasmically fantastic" and "my happiness today depends on eating a shit ton of carbs" (been there!). Let me be clear: if you are experiencing guilt or shame from what you are or are not eating, it would be most beneficial to acknowledge the issue, explore it, and solve the problem internally rather than simply putting down/picking up any external factors. (This is true for most of our emotional and mental turmoil.) Easier said than done, yes, but the process is an life-changing one.
Okay, my ten minutes are up. I want to write more but it's important for me to respect the boundaries I've set for this free writing goal of mine. Maybe tomorrow night I will write more about this. Especially about feeling deprived by your restrictive diet. That issue really hits me square in the heart.
Peace and love.
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